I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
