Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
