Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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