Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
