My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
