It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
