so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
