upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
