Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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