So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
