hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
