In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
