Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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