But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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