Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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