How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
