OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She bit a glass in half.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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