Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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