He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
