Can i not drive my cunt home
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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