so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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