someone owes me an orgasm
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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