i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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