Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
