I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
