Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
