Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize