someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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