i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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