Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
