Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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