Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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