no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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