y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
