i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
