Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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