she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
