Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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