Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
