After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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