It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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