no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
