Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So vagazzling was a success
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
