Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
