Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize