I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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