so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
