need another drink. this is the easiest way
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize