Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
