Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize