We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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