you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize