Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
