My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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