You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
