if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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