hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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