it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
