They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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