you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
