worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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