Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
