I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
