You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize